Kindness is not weakness: the case for compassionate leadership

As I progressed through my career and found myself in an increasing number of board room conversations, I noticed a common narrative during people related discussions: the perception that niceness was a career limiting factor: “They’re nice, but they lack edge”. “They’re too nice to make big decisions”.  

It was something of a relief when I stepped into my ‘new’ world this year and was assured by many experienced consultants and their podcasts, books and blogs that niceness was an absolutely critical quality for a consultant. I pride myself on being agreeable, personable and compassionate so it was comforting to hear that these qualities would be an asset in my new role, where they had at times felt distinctly like an albatross in the past.

That contrast led me to think a little bit deeper about what it might mean for a business where 'nice' has become an unwanted quality, and the first question I asked myself was:

What is niceness anyway?

“Niceness” is a stretchy term which needs some decoding in a business context. Being agreeable to the point of passivity definitely is not a strong leadership quality, but if potential leaders in your organisation are often being overlooked for progression and the reason is ‘too nice’, there is probably a wider cultural subtext to be addressed.

It could be that the core qualities associated with ‘niceness’ are being equated with softness, indecision, and even weakness. If that’s the case, it’s likely that “harder” qualities such as ruthlessness, detachment and relentlessness, are being promoted as the markers of leadership. Whilst these qualities can drive results in the short term, they are not the route to sustainable business growth.

Compassionate leadership delivers quantifiable value

A systematic review of 41 studies  from 2002–2021 identified key dimensions of compassionate leadership, such as empathy, integrity, openness, and respect, and found that workplace environments characterised by compassion show: ≥12% higher productivity, lower burnout (therefore fewer absences), and higher engagement, innovation, and retention.

A 2021 Ernst and Young survey found 90% of employees believe empathic leadership improves job satisfaction, while 79% say it reduces turnover. Catalyst discovered that 76% of employees who experience empathy are engaged, compared to only 32% who don’t.

And ‘niceness’ doesn’t just make employees happier, it can influence investor confidence as well. An analysis of 510 CEO earnings calls during the early days of the Covid19 pandemic revealed that companies where leaders expressed even some concern for staff wellbeing outperformed the market by 2.49 percentage points over the following six weeks.

In other words, being kind isn’t a “soft skill.” It’s a competitive advantage.

What does this mean for an ambitious business?

If kindness is dismissed as weakness in a workplace, it says more about the culture than the individual.

Holding onto (or even reintroducing) outdated models of leadership where toughness is strength leaves no space for a growth mindset and will limit innovation, so if your organisation treats ‘niceness’ as a barrier to success, ask yourself: what are you rewarding instead? If it’s ruthlessness, burnout and short term gains the time has come to examine your strategy and how it’s impacting your culture (and vice versa).

Strength and compassion are not mutually exclusive. In my experience, the opposite is true; the strongest leaders do the hardest things while staying human.